urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:moreto taking the scenic, joyful route to self acceptance moreto 2008-05-23T11:07:39Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:moreto:1217 2008-05-23T11:07:39Z 2008-05-23T11:07:39Z &nbsp;I just bought a corset on an online auction. Never bought one before and a bit unsure. I 'm meant to be saving but my quest for living sensually tool over. Can't wait to get it. God knows when I'll wear it. May be for work for the hell of it. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:moreto:910 2008-05-22T09:57:50Z 2008-05-22T09:57:50Z <div class='appwidget appwidget-qotd' id='LJWidget_20'> <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"><tr><td><div style='border: 1px solid #000; padding: 6px;'><p>If you could be cast on any TV show, from any time, who would you play?</p><p style='font-size: 0.8em;'></p><br /><p><input type="button" value="Answer" onclick="document.location.href='http://www.livejournal.com/update.bml?qotd=400'" /> <a target="_blank" href="http://www.livejournal.com/misc/latestqotd.bml?qid=400">View 503 Answers</a></p></div></td></tr></table></div><!-- end .appwidget-qotd --> Well thinking along the theme of my recovery and fat acceptance, it gets hard to think of TV role models. Most fat people on TV are apologetic about their size, or use it as a vehicle for comedy. Or maybe I just don't watch enough TV.<br />Saying that though, I just had a flash of CAlly from Grey's Anatomy in her big knickers and thought "hell I woudn't mind being her"<br /><br />I wanted to be on the Cosby show as a kid, wanted that whole warm family thing.<br /><br /> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:moreto:726 2008-05-22T09:22:28Z 2008-05-22T09:22:28Z So this blog will focus on recovery.<br />My recovery from treating myeslf negatively, from thinking that I'm not enough, or too much.<br />I've ben holding myself back, that's OK, i did what I needed to do but now that is changing.<br /><br />Recvery comes in unlikely forms, is motivated by unlikely events. I spent some time with my super sexy friend who believes that I can be sexy too. She was amazed that I didn't see what others see. I see that I'm "too fat"<br />She sees that I'm fun and sexy and desirable. She reminds me of the other people that share the same view.<br />I'm sceptical<br />I weigh116kg...how the hell can that be all of those things.<br />But I decided to act as if the things she says are true.<br /><br />So my journey to self acceptance has taken a skewed turn. i didn't want to read a book about how to love myself.<br />There has to be more fun ways.<br />So I decided to check out fat people being happy in their sexuality and sensuality...Burlesque dancers opened my eyes and now&nbsp; I have a corset on order. I've avoided my sexual identity as I felt&nbsp; that this was the preserve of the little peope. Apparently that's not the case so I'm excited about turning the tide and seeing where I end up.